Help Desk Humor

Way off topic....

2003-10-21T09:53:00.000-05:00

I really do not have a place to ramble without people knowing it's me.... well, except here. So - do humor me today....

I have heard of people who wake in the night to find an apparition of someone they love, or something they don't even know for that matter, standing at the foot of their bed. I only wish I could find out if it was true or not.

You see, my dad died this year. And a lot more has been going on as well - a lot. My husband and I are not getting along very well - something I think that was coming in due time. Who knows.

I am sitting today, in my office, crying. I know you all probably are like "are you a fruitcake?" but really, I am. This morning was a rough morning - words tossed around - words that cut deeper than any weapon anyone could use. He even showed up here to explain himself. But the more he explained, the more he only made his comment earlier in the van more concrete. I don't know what to do anymore. And it feels as if he spends his waking hours trying to think of ways to make me feel more confused - so I do not see what is really in front of me.

So, what does this have to do with apparitions and the like?

I sit here crying, and am praying that I could have a vision of my dad... something to tell me what in God's creation I am supposed to do. Do I be the "honorable wife" and stick it out for how long and just feel this way forever till I die? Or should I leave him? divorce him - some guidance. Any guidance.

Or maybe just a hug to tell me that things will work out in due time. That would be nice.

Its hard being here, alone - the one person that truly unconditionally loved me gone... its hard. I have always been independent. Never really having to worry about making decisions - they seem to come naturally to me. But I am torn with this. My religious "proper" upbringing - or making another attempt at being happy.

I didn't want my kids to be from a broken home. It was never my intent. I never thought I'd be "that" woman. The one that was divorced raising her kids on her own against all odds. I don't want to be that woman - but how is marriage supposed to go?

Are you supposed to say mean things to one another? Are you supposed to feel nothing when you walk around the house and do meaningless chores over and over and over again? Are you supposed to feel anything? How does marriage feel? A real marriage.... one that has lasted - or did it last because it was "supposed to" because vows were said?

How do you know when your marriage is normal? How do you know when it's not?

I don't know....

how about that apparition dad - it would be good right about now.

I'll just go ask Dad.

2003-10-02T10:13:00.000-05:00

Well... this isn't very funny but actually kind of frustrating.

The other day I get an email from user saying that they couldn't access the #### Website. Ok - that's fine. But I only register them as users - I don't do tech support on this one (wiping brow). I politely tell her that she needs to call the #### support number on her screen.

She is polite - sends an email back "what are you good for anyway :-)"

I'm really kind of hoping that was a joke....

Well - not five minutes later I get a call from the Help Desk line asking about this error on the #### website and if they should forward the DK ticket call to me. I tell her no - I just spoke to her and told her to call this number.

Hmmmmm -

Good technique - but since there is no person A and person B in the circle of #### - she landed right back where she started.

E for Effort.

Wow.. where has the time gone?

2003-10-02T10:00:00.000-05:00

It seems like I just posted a post - and I come back and look - it has been 30 days! My goodness.... Miss HD is slacking!

2003-09-03T08:34:00.000-05:00

Which Way is North? *pointing north*
Now - I admit, I am terrible at directions and when someone tells me to twist and turn my way around somewhere, I generally just go the first couple directions then find someone else to harrass. It works - has for 27 years now.

So, I'm sitting here, doing some paper pushing (blech) and a lady is walking by, sees me and does a 180 and comes back.

"Excuse me, do you know where *insert name here*'s office is?"

I smile and begin telling her, "She's on the Fourth Floor so you'd...."

and the lady interrupts me "OK, Fourth floor and just as you get off these elevators?" and points down the hall to the elevators.

So she knew where she was going? hmmmmm

2003-08-20T14:01:00.000-05:00

Yeah, that is spectacular - and really neat too
Boy - I've been MIA for a few weeks and now you get two in one day.

Alright, these are my actual emails folks - enjoy.... (as a side note, NNNN is an internet based application)

FIRST EMAIL SENT OUT BY MISS HD
It appears that *name of facility* is experiencing problems with the internet - your NNNN might not let you log in and will give you "Page Cannot Be Displayed."

The problem is being addressed at this time. I will keep you updated on progress and time frames for correction.

EMAIL SENT TO LET EVERYONE KNOW IT'S OK TO GO BACK INTO THE WATER
Internet access is now available - however, you still might experience some problems with logging in. If you do, please wait approximately 5 minutes and try logging in again.

REPLY BACK FROM USER (replying to the second message, not the first)
IS NNNN UP NOW???

hmmmm not sure - but I think that's what I said......

2003-08-20T10:13:00.000-05:00

God let us invent paper and pens for a reason...
Ok - I believe that if you are only going to do something once, if a person wants to forget, that's fine. Forget.

But - I also think that if this is something you are going to do on a religious basis - why not try taking notes or hmmmm I don't know - taking notes?

User Day One Phone Call: "Miss HD, how do I get excel to print my form on just one page?"
Miss HD Day One Answer: "Well, User" *insert chipper tone* "You would go to File/Page Setup and click the radio button next to print one page wide by one page tall."

User Day Two Phone Call: "Miss HD, how do I get excel to print my form on just one page?"
Miss HD Day Two Answer: "Alright, User" *not so chipper tone* "Go to File/Page Setup and click the radio button next to the print one page whide by one page tall."

User Day Three Phone Call: "Miss HD, how do I get excel to print my form on just one page?"
Miss HD Day Three Answer: "Go to File / Page Setup and click the radio button to print on one page."

User Day Four Phone Call: "Miss HD, how do I get excel to print my form on just one page?"
Miss HD Day Four Answer: "File / Page Setup and click the radio button."

User Day Five Phone Call: "Miss HD, How do I get excel to print my form on just one page?"
Miss HD Day Five Answer: "File / Page Setup. Hey - are you saving this?"
: "No."

Miss HD picks up phone around 9 am and says without hesitation "File / Page Setup."

User laughs.

Miss HD does not.

2003-08-04T15:23:00.000-05:00

OH THE HUMANITY
Ya know - I pride myself in what patience I do have. I don't have much - so, don't worry about me having pride *laughing*.

Well, today, my face itches. I have gotten approximatley 15 calls from the same person.

Lets pretend you have a grocery list. On that list, you have .... oh, lets say 10 items. Eggs. Milk. Bread. Bananas. Toilet Paper... whatever. You go to the store with the friend under duress - but your friend has promised that you can sit in the car and he/she will get everything. You sit in the car and your friend goes inside - Not five minutes later, your friend returns with nothing in hand.

"Miss Help Desk, can you show me where the Eggs are?"

You get up and go in the store, get the eggs, put them in the cart and go back to the car. Soon - your friend emerges with a bag in her hand with just EGGS in it. He/she asks:

"Miss Help Desk, can you show me where the milk is?"

And you get up and you go inside and you show her where the milk is and you go back to the car.

You seeing a pattern here?

That is what I did today. I do not do the operational side - I can tell you how the application works - but don't ask me to do it for you - I don't know the exact operational process. I know how it goes - not how to send it.

So - all day today a person with instructions in hand "It won't work, can you help me?" Twenty minutes later, instructioins in hand "It won't do this now, can you help me?"

Finally, 6 hours later - we have it up and running and the process complete. Believe it or not - she does this everyday. Not calling me - this is her job... she has done it for two years or so but for some reason, she has forgotten how. And ya know what's funny - the instructions in her hands were one's that I typed up a long time ago - so I know they are detailed cuz I know how I write.

Maybe I should go shopping with her later?

Hope she's eating frozen dinners.

sigh.

2003-07-31T15:27:00.000-05:00

Well - the blogathon is over. I can now look at my blogger editor page without wanting to throw up or have blackouts due to memories of 6 am burritos.

There are some great tips in the comments of the different posts from the blogathon - other folks stepping up and putting in some meat to my answers - which is HIGHLY appreciated. Once a person get's that tired, I could suggest feeding your computer chicken soup to make it feel better.

By the way, if I told you to feed your computer chicken soup to make it feel better - that's really a bad idea. Trust me.

Miss HD was able to raise a total of $57 for the Association for International Cancer Research. I would like to have had bigger numbers, but the sponsors just weren't there. This does not mean you cannot donate on your own - I encourage it.

I'd like to send a warm thank you to all my sponsors -

Jane S.

Jamie L.

Elise M.

Wes D

Every bit helps folks -

I don't have any great stories for you yet - but I'm sure there are some just brewing. We have some new temps, couple new employees coming it - the future is bright for your reading pleasure - not for my nerves... but you will definitely have reading pleasure (even if my medication will need up'd *laughing*)

2003-07-27T08:06:00.000-05:00

I keep hearing the term "netiquette" used. What does that mean?

Netiquette is a spin off from the word ettique - only applying to the online world. Just as you would not eat with your elbows on the table or your mouth open or how you would say please and thank you, you should not do things like TYPE IN ALL CAPS - it means you are yelling at someone. You should not spam people with useless emails (unless you know they want them, then it's ok) or using punctuation and capitalization of letters.

It's taking the other person's feelings into consideration - how would you feel if you got this email or this message from someone?

Forward email onto others as you would want them to forward onto you.

This is it.

The last post.

So, why am I posting like this and killing my body..... it's for cancer.

My dad passed away on May 30th to cancer and right now, as tired as I am and as emotional as these wounds are to my soul, I'm crying.

He was a great man and it's a shame that I have to spend the rest of my adult life living without him.... Like my mom, he was my best friend - in life he was a teacher - a good parent - a rock - my mentor. He encouraged me to do better, he helped me believe that I could do whatever I wanted, that my only limitations in life were set by me. He was there when I fell down and he was there to pick me back up again - all physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually. I know the world lost a great man.

But I don't think it should be like this for everyone. If we can bond together - become a whole unit as human beings - and find the money to fund the researchers, we can find a cure or something. Something so that children, not 27 year old women, do not have to live without a mom or a dad or a sibling.

We can do this. It's possible. Anything is possible - that's what my dad taught me.

Another Blogathoner: Eliot Landrum

2003-07-27T07:30:00.000-05:00

How come Dell told me my network card was fine, but when my cable modem provider came out they had to give me a new network card?

It’s possible the network card that came with your Dell was fine but not compatible with your cable provider’s specs. If your cable provider sent you a better card – never look a gift horse in the mouse.

Well, it's post 48 of 49. I'm making typos out the ying yang... but that's ok... cuz I am doing GOOD..... woot woot.... yeah.....

So, what's good to wash a frozen burrito down with?

Another Blogathoner: Blue Cal

2003-07-27T07:00:00.000-05:00

I've been wanting to listen to the blogathon-radio but I've semi-accidentally set my computer to chose Creativelabs' player (comes with my Nomad MP3 player) for all sort of audio, and no sound comes through. How do I set it back to using something that will actually work with the streaming? (I'm on Windows XP, btw) How do I re-associate my tiff files from QuickTime so I can view multi-page tiffs?

This is called File Association. What has happened, is like you said, incidentally you set your computer to open all files that are .mp3 (or all audio) to play with your Nomad player. This is how you will change the file association – but take note, you have to have some sort of file in the format you are trying to open saved on your computer.

Open your Windows Explorer by right clicking on the START button and choose EXPLORE from that menu. Now, find a file you would like to associate with a different program. This will be for the first time only, other files of that type should open automatically with the newly selected application.

Once you get to the file, hold down the shift key and right click on the file name. Because you are using XP, you shouldn’t have to hold down the shift key when you right click. A menu will pop up and you will select OPEN WITH… With XP you will need to then select the choose program from the menu that pulls after you click on the “open with” menu choice.

Yes, I answered this a long time ago cuz wouldn't that be mean of Miss HD to make a man blogging in the blogathon wait till the END to tell him how to change his file association. I'm mean, not that mean :-)

So.... how you doin'?

Morning has crept it's way to my house. It's ok out.

I shut the blinds.

Another Blogathoner: artgrrl

2003-07-27T06:30:00.000-05:00

Does the number of icons on a Desktop have anything to do with the speed at which the processor runs?

Yes it can dependent on how many shortcuts you have. The display of the icons takes space in the processor upon boot up. You would have to have a lot of icons to cause a noticeable slowdown. See my Q&A about speeding your PC up, you might find a helpful hint or two there to gain back some of your processor’s speed.

Well, I'm nearing the end of my first journey in a blogathon. It's been really fun. Hanging out in chat with a bunch of other sore-shouldered, franticly mad gigglers enjoying that which is blogathon.....

So... let's talk next year - what to do what to do :-)

Another Blogathoner: Serene Chaos

2003-07-27T06:01:00.000-05:00

Miss HD got a lot of questions regarding spam so, here they are, all together for your ha-ha pleasure (on some of them), but the answer is all the same, which follows the questions.

I get *lots* of spam. What can I do to avoid getting it? Are there good filters I can use?

Can I really enhance my manhood? It would save me a trip to the sex change clinic if the right email can do the trick instead. What does it mean to "seek of spam?"

My friend keeps sending me these emails saying that Bill Gates will send me lots of money if I forward the email. Is that true? Is there a place where I can check the validity of email forwards?

There are spam filters - just do an internet search, but most of the time you can limit your spam on your own without the help of a filter. Most emails are also equipped with a filtering functionality where you can put words of your choice in and all can be sent directly to the trash (some great words are like penis enhancement or Bill Gates LOL).

So what you can do on your own to help fight spam? The first rule of thumb is do NOT remove yourself from the mailing list. Why, you ask? Because when you do that, you are signaling to that sender that you really are a real live person. And like a telemarketing company, they can send your email on to ten more spammers like themselves - mostly their companies as well. You are marked a "hot" item when you remove yourself from the list.

Be very careful what you sign yourself up for. Trust the website - and this includes message boards/forums and newsletters as well. You might also want to send a hint to your friends to not sign you up for something - I know my friends will be searching around and see something they think I'd be interested in, so they pop my name and email in - yeah, they have and yes, I have gotten some great spam from it, which brings me into the next questions.

No, there really are no effective penis enhancement tools, toys or pills that will actually work. There is a penis enhancement surgery I hear works - but you might lose some sensation in your penis and don't worry, size doesn't matter anyway.

I am not aware of any sites that will tell you if your emails are true or not, regarding Bill Gates sending money or little Billy wants over 5 million people to sign his petition cuz he gets a nickelâ€¦ But use your best judgment, if it's too good to be true, it is and then think that if you want to forward stuff on and it's fun - why not. Don't be disappointed though when your 2 million dollar check does not arrive or your coupon for Applebee's isn't in your inbox when you forward on a message.

So, I have found the true meaning of being a blogathoner - I am truly excited to be eating a frozen burrito at 6 am. Here is the picture to prove it:

Another Blogathoner: Stare Bust

2003-07-27T05:29:00.000-05:00

Are screensavers necessary anymore with contemporary monitors?

Screensavers are helpful because you can burn a computer screen – plasma or what have you. The screensaver prevents the screen from sitting there so long it would burn an image into the display.

Now, if you turn your computer off at night, or if it’s only up for a few hours at a time, then no, a screensaver is not necessary.

*added on 7/28 to append to original answer from blogathon*
A friend of mine told me that with the CRT monitors, burning is not possible so a screensaver is not needed.

VERY COOL - I won a blogathon Tshirt! Me soooo happy!

I have a new burst of energy thanks to Cat!

Another Blogathoner: Freedom of Youth

2003-07-27T05:10:00.000-05:00

I'm AWAKE CAT! I see my message on the main page of blogathon.org

2003-07-27T04:59:00.000-05:00

Does "heavy" wallpaper slow your computer down?

Actually it can - your wallpaper is a large file saved as an image to your computer, so if it's large enough, then yes. Most images aren't going to be so big that they'll bog your computer down. Now if you go out and save 50 of these large, heavy wallpaper files, then look for some slowdown - they take up space.

Now, remember, your computer saves on the hard disk and pulls to the processor when you boot up.

Have I mentioned how much my butt hurts?

So, any new sponsors.... NOPE.. come on folks, for a good cause! Cancer Research is much needed - people are suffering and families are hurting, including my own right now. It's for a good cause...

Another Blogathoner: twodolla.org

2003-07-27T04:28:00.000-05:00

What's up with those smiley faces and terms like LOL? My friend uses them all the time and I have no idea what she is talking about.

Emoticons (the little smilies) and the acronyms have become part of basic Internet lingo. They are a means of a person showing you how they are saying something since boy language is pretty much out of the question when you are typing an email, chatting in a chat room or posting in a message board.

The acronyms are a little more “blah” than the smilies, but they speed up typing time. I would guess the majority of types are hunt and peckers (no… not that) so cutting down on post time is good for them. LOL, or laughing out loud, or ROFL, rolling on floor laughing, help cut down their time to post something back be it email or a chat room.

There are many mini-dictionaries available online – just search for emoticon and you will get the information you are needing to decipher what your friend is trying to say and how.

Ok, I have nothing to say that's funny or profound. I think I'm a walking corpse now. I have forgotten what sleep feels like. My shoulders are terribly sore and my butt hurts.... I can't feel my legs very well - I think they are still there cuz I can see my feet.. and feet and legs have a relationship, kinda like smoke and fire.

Another Blogathoner: meymey

2003-07-27T03:59:00.000-05:00

What's the difference between CDR and CDRW?

A CDR is a CD you can burn to with one session. When you close the session you are done. If you re-open a session on that CD, if you are able to, it will erase your previously recorded items. The CDRW is more versatile than the CDR as well as a tad more expensive. You can open a session, close it, reopen and burn more information to the CD without losing your previous session.

Ode to my Throbbing Ass
Oh little ass, so dear to me
I thought I'd be nice and make some monEY
but here I sit atop of you
with your wants for me to get through
but alas I cannot for at least 4 more hours
and you, for me to get up, willing to the powers
ALAS OH WOMAN GET UP OFF YOUR TUSH
before your lard ass, turns into mush

Another Blogathoner: Halla's Ranting - Long Form

2003-07-27T03:28:00.000-05:00

What do you think of the quasi-internet surfing devices such as WebTV? Do you think they have a use for some households?

WebTV and other “quasi-internet surfing devices” (I like that) are alright in my book as long as the individual making the purchase is aware of what it is truly capable of and the other issues that might happen down the road, like not being able to view a webpage as it was intended or the issues surrounding a webpage. To use them for basic searching, researching and email, I see no issue with them at all.

Personally, not something that would be a wise buy for me but I have several family members that would do fine with the functionality these provide.

OK... I'm holding up pretty good. Better than I suspected. No new sponsors but that's ok - there is still time. SPONSOR SPONSOR SPONSOR

I can still use a couple questions if you want to send them to miss_helpdesk@yahoo.com

Another Blogathoner: Remarkably Purple Spots

2003-07-27T03:00:00.000-05:00

How do I create a local printer port in WinXP Professional?

The printer ports are already there, you just need to add a new printer that is a local, not a network. To do this, go to START / SETTINGS and select PRINTERS from that menu. In the PRINTERS window that pops up, you will be able to add a local printer. Be sure to have your printers disk on hand in case it is not listed when you are selecting a driver for that printer.

So, I'm in a chat room with a ton of other bloggers having a good time. Boy - at this point in the game you have no idea what is funny.

Speaking of funny - I am watching late night TV - I don't do this often, and there was a commercial for Yaffa Blocks. LOL I about pee'd my pants laughing. And this lady is doing a whispery kind of yell saying "go yaffa" and then they go into this speel about a yaffa strainer for your pasta - "hook it onto the faucet and it FLOATS IN MID AIR... .GO YAFFA."

Weird.

Another Blogathoner: A New Rising Sun

2003-07-27T02:27:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to install a network card into a Win98SE machine, and it keeps asking for the damn Win 98SE CD. I have the right driver for the card. Is there any way to go around needing that CD?

I am not sure what part of the CD it is needing to read – the registration key number or is it actually asking to read files from the drive? It sounds like the Win98SE is trying to reconfigure the network card on it’s own (much like a plug and play) but cannot without the CD.

If you do not have your CD, you might try downloading something from Microsoft.com. They have a lot of downloads as well as drivers that might help you bypass the request for the CD.

Why is it the Geico gecko is so much funnier at 2:30 in the morning?

Another Blogathoner: Fiction by Clay

2003-07-27T02:00:00.000-05:00

What in the hell does the 'scroll lock' button on my keyboard do?

Well, good question. Most users will use the Caps Lock or the Num Lock key, but how many people do you know actually use the Scroll Lock key? Probably very few.

The Scroll Lock key was initially intended to temporarily halt the operation of a program or to stop the scrolling of text. You might also notice that some programs will not function properly if the scroll lock is on and in the same thought, many applications just ignore the scroll lock all together.

The key was pretty much made obsolete after Windows 3.X. But, if you have a DOS application (big if, potentially if you don’t work in an industry that still has one), you can scroll through it using the arrow keys – the scroll lock would prevent that.

So, if you have no DOS applications or you don’t have any programs that actually recognize it, it pretty much just lights up a green light on your keyboard.

Ya know, I don't have much to say besides I'm tired. I've gotten up to $27 in sponsors so that is cool. There are some great leaps and bounds going so you can visit the whole blogathon thing at Blogathon 2003.

Another Blogathoner: Pandagon.net

2003-07-27T01:28:00.000-05:00

What does “Plug and Play” mean?

Plug and Play, or PnP, gives you the ability to plug a device into your computer and have the computer automatically recognize that the new device is there.

This is a short one. I don't have much to say but I'm watching While You Were Out on TLC. Much nicer than snakes.

I'm tired. I'm sore... my butt has gotten to the point of throbbing.

But I'm having a good time....

Another Blogathoner: New Mommie

2003-07-27T01:02:00.000-05:00

When I am on the computer, it looks like there is a shadowed line extending out from my mouse, icons and other images. What is this? How do I fix it?

Sounds to me like your video card is going out. The best way to test this is to borrow someone’s monitor and hook it up. If the shadows are still there, you will need to go and purchase another video card. Take down your computer name and other specs and go to a place like Circuit City or Best Buy. Find a video card compatible with your PC – it should be around $30 (US dollar) and can be easily installed. Just follow the directions.

Be thankful - I changed the channel. No more snake testicles.

I changed it to the TLC channel. So, I just watched a "Good, The Bad and the Ugly" ... only it was a woman to plan their wedding... ouch. That woman was a you-know-what. BUT she was the real wedding planner.

That show is messed up. What if they had picked the wrong person - the one that had never planned a wedding. Hmmm maybe she would have been more fun to be around.

Another Blogathoner: aka cooties

2003-07-27T00:32:00.000-05:00

Is there a way to specify jagged underlining in HTML if one does not use CSS? So how would I make one in just in plain HTML?

First let’s define CSS or Cascading Style Sheets. These are an HTML specification developed by the W3C (World Wide Web Consortium) that allows the authors of HTML and users to attach style sheets to HTML documents. The style sheets include typographical information on how the page should appear like the font. This also will direct which way the style sheets and the user’s style will blend.

So my answer is that your HTML can always be done even without the CSS as it is more there to allow the user to control the layout of the pages. My only thought is there is no jagged underline – only in a word editor to show where there is a grammatical error or a spelling error.

I just got back from the bathroom.

You see, I got my hair cut short about 2 weeks ago and I just noticed their is a chunk of hair longer than the rest. I've been walking around with a throwback from the 80s and I'm not talking a good one... eesh.

And we all know I am not to be trusted with scissors.....

And we all know this is going to bug me till I fix it.

Please pray that by the time the blogathon is over, I do not have a mohawk.

Another Blogathoner: The Dog House

2003-07-27T00:03:00.000-05:00

I have always wondered how people with disabilities can surf the internet, I know they can – but how?

People with motor disabilities can use an alternate mouse to control the browser and others use alternate keyboards which can be onscreen keyboard, but they will surf the site using the tab key. Individuals with poor vision will use a screen enlargement software which means they can only see part of the screen at one time, not the whole screen. People who are blind will use a screen reader that will read back the screen to them in a synthesized voice.

If you are curious as to what it must be like, or how difficult surfing the Internet can be, try not using your mouse, just the tab key to move around the websites or turn the images off – so if images aren’t labeled, you won’t know what they are.

Ok.. I have no idea why I have not changed the TV channel away from National Geographic - but did you know that snakes do have testicles and that when they breed, they actually split open and they protrude out. And the female, she splits open and he leaves a "sperm plug" in her so she can't breed for 2 or 3 days.

How wacky is that.

OK - so you didn't want me to share that. You want me to change the channel?

I'm AWAKE!

Another Blogathoner: Joni Electric

2003-07-26T23:33:00.000-05:00

What’s an ISP?

ISP stands for Internet Service Provider. Your ISP will allow you to use a modem or a DSL or cable line to log into their network and connect to the internet.

I really don't have anything to say.... WHOA - did that just come out of my mouth, well, not exactly my mouth but I typed it which means I thought it.

Ok, now I'm rambling. So, how do you all like the blogathon going on here? Do you like the Q&A format? yes? no? comments anyone?

And I must admit I'm getting a little jealous. With the blogathon there are monitors to make sure we are in fact, really awake and blogging for our cause. I found a site my monitor is watching as well and they commented on it... but not mine. WAHHHHHH

Oh well - can't win them all. I'm awake and moving. Remember, if you still want to sponsor me you are more than welcome to - I'm up to $27 and I'm happy - course, the higher the better!

Another Blogathoner: Things that make you go HMMMMMMMMMMM

2003-07-26T22:59:00.000-05:00

What exactly is Standby Mode?

When your computer goes into the Standby Mode, this means your computer is actually consuming less electricity but is ready for you to sit down and use it. It’s more than a screensaver but less than actually shutting it down. Just take heed that if your computer is in standby mode and the computer crashes or loses power, everything that is not saved will be lost.

I am really impressed with myself. Aside from the ding dong I snuck in about an hour ago, which of course did not take me out of my range, I've really held onto my weight watchers diet through all of this. I've had no caffeine, aside from the ding dong, and I am feeling great... ok, not great - but at least accomplished.

Alright - I have said ding dong twice. I want another ding dong.

*sigh*

i want a ding dong.

Another Blogathoner: Digital Daydreaming

2003-07-26T22:29:00.000-05:00

I never thought about using programs to monitor my teen's activity on the internet, but recently I have suspicion that he is surfing porn sites. What can I do right now to find out if he is looking at those sites on the computer when my back is turned?

Eesh – love the teenagers.

My first suggestion would be to go out and buy a web blocking software. If you have AOL, there are even filters that can be set for each user – but in a pinch, there is a file called index.dat that will store a list of files names that have been stored in the Temporary Internet Folder. You cannot find the index.dat just by viewing the Windows Explorer – it is hidden, which is good since if he knows how to delete temporary internet files, then he might not know this.

If you are using Windows 95 or 98, go to the Start button, click FIND FILES or FOLDERS and a box will pop up. In the named field, put in index.dat. In the Look In field, click to see the items in the drop down box and choose My Computer and uncheck the include subfolders box. Then click FIND NOW.

If you are using Windows XP, click the START button, the FOR FILES AND FOLDERS. Then click ALL FILES AND FOLDERS and type index.dat in the all or part of file name box. Under the LOOK IN option, choose My Computer then click MORE ADVANCED OPTIONS and uncheck the Search System Folders and the Search hidden files and folders.

Happy Browsing.

OK... now, I need comments... what is something you want to see me take a picture of and it can't be anything that would be covered by a bikini :-)

Another Blogathoner: Ray

2003-07-26T21:57:00.000-05:00

What is my computer made up of?

Alright – you asked for it…..

Central Processing Unit (CPU) – This is also known as the “processor.” The CPU does all the binary calculations and is very much the brain of the computer. It makes your programs run.

Hard Drive (or Hard Disk) – This is a special storage device that contains the information needed to operate the computer. This includes programs, the data created by the user (you) and the operating system. The hard drive is not actually the big gray box you set on the floor or on the desk, it is actually a bunch of disks inside the case.

Random Access Memory (RAM) – This is your computer’s memory. The computer does short term tasks here. So, when you open a program, a copy of it is moved from the hard drive to the processor for calculations to occur. When the processor wants to do something special, it uses the RAM to do so. When the program is done with that special task, it is taken out of RAM and ran in the processor again until RAM is needed again. So, when you are working on the computer and it tells you there is not enough memory to perform this task, that means that your processor is trying to send stuff to RAM but cannot because it is already full doing other stuff.

Hmmmm still don't know what to take a picture of, but I just watched over 2000 snakes "do it" on TV. The National Geographic channel is weird.

Another Blogathoner: Delectible Dieting Disasters Mixed with Motherhood

2003-07-26T21:29:00.000-05:00

I’m not very computer savvy and this is probably a silly question, but I have a mouse with 3 buttons on it. What are they for? Besides the regular clicking – the other two baffle me.

OK, so you know what the left clicker is for so lets go with the right and the middle buttons. The right mouse button can open up a new host of menu’s – shortcut menus. Go to a blank spot on your desktop and right click – from here you can get to your desktop properties, you can auto-arrange your icons and other things like add a new shortcut. Not bad. You will find that if you highlight something in your word processor, more than likely it will have a right click menu as well. And if you right click on the gray part of a toolbar, you will be able to open and close toolbars easily. Just use it and see what you find. It’s really helpful.

The middle button can be assigned to a shortcut that you want like maybe a double click so you only have to do one middle button click to equal a regular double click. You can assign this in the CONTROL PANEL (click START/SETTINGS/CONTROL PANEL) and you will see an icon for your mouse. In there, you can assign your settings for the third button.

Now, the next fun thing is did you know there are mice with a scroll wheel in the middle? Not only can you assign a function to this, but it makes scrolling internet pages lots easier.

I'm snackish... My butt is numb... My shoulders hurt... BUT I'M HAVING A GOOD TIME! hehehe

Another Blogathoner: Zappagirl's Journal

2003-07-26T21:00:00.000-05:00

Can I delete cookies or make it so my computer doesn’t save them?

Yes you can – the easiest way is to delete them using your Windows Explorer. To do it right, don’t forget to close your browser first. Remember, when you delete the cookie, when you go back to that site you are starting from scratch, so if you want to pick and choose which cookies you delete, you can prevent starting from scratch on sites you visit often (like yahoo or excite).

You can set your computer to reject cookies or even prompt you for your approval before it picks the cookie up (this one can get annoying). The options to handling cookies are in your browser’s security options.

Keep in mind that cookies are not dangerous to your computer – they are just a text file BUT (always a but) they can reveal information about yourself… Once a site has gathered your cookie, it does not mean it cannot be shared.

Ya know, I'm really kicking myself in the hiney for not buying a new network card for my laptop. See - then I would be able to sit back in my lazyboy and blog away... course, I might fall asleep.....

Maybe not a good idea after all...

Another Blogathoner: Salamanteri.net

2003-07-26T20:28:00.000-05:00

What exactly is a cookie? What’s it for?

Well, my friend, it’s a little round cooked ball of dough, sometimes with peanut butter chips or chocolate chips or nuts but it’s very tasty and more of a sweet treat.

hehehe Just Kiddin’!

A cookie is a text-only string that is saved to the memory of your browser. If the lifetime of this value is set to be longer than the time you spend at that site, then this string is saved to file to your computer for future reference. Some sites use cookies for their shopping carts and then even further to remember what you had in your cart even though you actually left the site. Your login information (when you say save it, it saves it) to a website or anything else where information is to be stored. Even the “My Yahoo” or “My Excite” features to our favorite websites use cookies to store personal information.

Alright, passed the half way mark. I'm feeling good - yeah, feeling good.....

ROCKY!!!!!!!!!!!!

ADRIAN!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok... maybe too good :-)

Another Blogathoner: K-Street

2003-07-26T19:59:00.000-05:00

When I get an error when I’m browsing the internet, what do they really mean?

Error 400: A bad URL request – possible the site doesn’t exist anymore or you have it entered in the address bar incorrectly. It could also be the server has no idea what you requested or you are not in the access group.

Error 401: You tried to go somewhere you aren’t allowed – no entry allowed.

Error 403: Forbidden like the dance. Either you don’t have access or you are on a PC where the server has been blocked from your domain. A lot of work places use this for porn, gaming and other no-no sites.

Error 404: The page you were looking for doesn’t exist on the server. More than likely the page address has been changed.

Error 500: This is the infamous Internal Error. More than likely it’s a CGI scripting error and you filled out a form and it just didn’t work.

Error 503: Server is Unavailable. It’s possible that the server is having too much traffic or something else could be wrong.

Now, with these errors, take heed that many times, if you hit the refresh button it might work. You have a good chance of it working at least. Never hurts to try again. Also, especially with those where the server cannot find the page, check the URL then hit refresh again.

I am feeling the need to take a picture of something, but I'm not sure what yet. Any suggestions?

We have made the half way mark - woo hoo! I found a little ditty on another blogathoner's site and took the test - 50-50 shot at finishing this thing out. Come on - need around 8 more questions so I can finish thing thing themed..... you know you want to ask me something - serious or not, just ask - miss_helpdesk@yahoo.com

Another Blogathoner: Livin' Nappy

2003-07-26T19:30:00.000-05:00

I've posted a new entry to my online blog, but it's not showing up on the main blog. It does show up in the Archives list and on its own archives entry page, but not the main blog. Do you have any idea what may be going on?!

Many times the blogging server will glitch and you will need to republish the entire site. Showing that the archive is picking up but not the main means something is going on with the “publish latest” feature many blogging providers have. Try republishing the entire site and see if that doesn’t work.

My shoulders are getting achey but I have a lot more research to do for some other questions that have come in. If you have a computer question you'd like answered, I have a few more slots open. Email me at miss_helpdesk@yahoo.com

Another Blogathoner: Think Pink

2003-07-26T19:00:00.000-05:00

I want to pick up some speed on my computer but I don’t want to reformat or reinstall everything. Is there anything I can do?

Absolutely. Try deleting all your temp files as well as removing any unwanted programs. Another issue might be your System Tray. Pretty much every application you install now wants to put something in your system tray. The issue here is that means you will have an application running in the background and you guessed it, it’s going to be absorbing a lot of your system resources which will directly affect the performance of your computer.

Your best bet with the system tray is to disable all unnecessary applications. Usually a good right click will take care of that.

The last step would be to do a disk defragmentation on your computer. You can do this by going to START / RUN and typing in defrag.

Another Blogathoner: wizbang!

2003-07-26T18:33:00.000-05:00

I saw an ad on TV for print cartridge refills? Do they work?

Sure they work but I would not suggest using them. I know many people do use them and have had no problems, but the ink nozzle in a cartridge is not meant to be used over and over and over like that â€“ it has a life span. Some printers do not have the ink nozzle in the cartridge so maybe they are ok, but why take the chance?

When you use a refill kit, you have now begun to take a risk at losing the print quality your printer was bought for.

A Healthy Choice meal is sitting in front of me - half eaten. Boy, the microwave can be brutal to the pallette!

Another Blogathoner: Oxymoronic

2003-07-26T17:59:00.000-05:00

I am tired of using so many color ink cartridges when printing from the web. How can I get it to be black and white?

When you go to print a website, go to FILE / PRINT. When the print screen comes up, then look for a feature called GREYSCALE – that’s what you want. Check it (or select it from a drop down, depending on your printer and it’s software) then you should get black and white.

My whole one bowl of oatmeal and "so-so" Diet Dr. Pepper are beginning to wear off. Any suggestions on what to eat? pizza? chocolate? hmmmmm

2003-07-26T17:31:00.000-05:00

Should I leave my computer on all the time or shut it off?

Both ways have their own positives and both have negatives:

Leaving it on means that your electronic components inside will last a little longer. They will not be constantly heating up and cooling down with shutdown. You wonâ€™t get any power spikes when you initially boot up and itâ€™s so convenient to sit down and start using your computer rather than having to sit through the boot up process.

Turning it off will save on your electric bill - of course it will, which is one big plus for turning it off after you are done using it. Turning it off will also prevent dust being sucked into the system and the less dust means the less heat which means that your PC will last longer.

So - pick what you think is best. The best practice is probably to just leave it on during the day and turn it off at night before bed. Then you are saving a bit on your electric bill but you also get the convenience and the less wear and tear on your computer.

With leaving your PC on, you will need to clean it out every once in a while (refer back to dust issue).

What do I do - I leave it on.

Another Blogathoner: NiMirial

2003-07-26T16:58:00.000-05:00

My computer is making a rattling sound when I start it up, but it eventually stops. Any ideas?

More than likely, you have two fans in your computer (the CPU part, not the monitor, keyboard or mouse or even the printer hehehe). One is a CPU fan and the other is a power supply fan. If it’s the CPU fan you will want to have it replaced immediately cuz when it goes out, your computer is a goner. Your power supply fan can rattle for a long time and never really go bad. I don’t suggest never changing it out because eventually you will need to, but it’s not as urgent as the CPU fan.

A tired person's version of Jurassic Park

I found this image online in a search for an answer to another question, thought it was funny.

Another Blogathoner: Eszter's Blog

2003-07-26T16:31:00.000-05:00

I would like to be able to search a website but they don’t have a search box. Any suggestions on how to find what I need on the site without trying to find it on each page?

One suggestion – quit. Hehehe Just kidding, if the site has registered with Alta Vista, then you might be lucky.

Go to Alta Vista and in their search box type host: (yes, there is a colon at the end of that)

Do not leave a space. Type in the basic URL you are wanting to search. For me it would be hdhumor.blogspot.com

Put a space and then a + sign followed by what you are searching for. Now your entire search line should look like the following:

host:hdhumor.blogspot.com +silliness

If they are registered at Alta Vista, you should get something back provided they have that information.

I want to personally thank Lori at BlueWolfSpirit.com for helping me with my images. Free photo servers aren't as reliable as we'd like - she is keeping the photos for HD Humor up and running for the blogathon... THANKS LORI!

Another Blogathoner: Simply Girly

2003-07-26T15:58:00.000-05:00

I am getting a lot of popup ads and I’ve already tried several popup blockers. What else can I do?

You might want to try loading a program called SpyBot – it removes spyware from your PC and you will be surprised at how much this will cut back on your popup ads, if not all of them. Another program, which can be downloaded at download.com as a free demo version is Ad-Aware 6.0

Another Blogathoner: Jen

2003-07-26T15:27:00.000-05:00

Using HTML, how do I make an image show up without linking it to anything?

Easy task, instead of using the a href function for the HTML tag, use img src to replace it. This will give you an image.

Well, not 2 minutes after the man being up I have had a soda spilled all over my desk and down my leg. Ahhhhh Gotta love it. *shaking head* So much for that shower.

Another Blogathoner: Five for Friday

2003-07-26T14:57:00.000-05:00

The last program I put on my puter was Norton Systemworks, without the virus protection - because I understood it would conflict with AVG and I prefer AVG. That was a few days ago. Now, when I am in AOL or in Photoshop (those are just the two I've been working in) ... I freeze up. Can't move. Have to cut the power to shut down. When it starts back up, scan disk comes on -- but it refuses to finish scanning. I get an error message, "Scandisk has restarted 10 times because Windows or another program is writing to the drive ....". I then cancel and it goes on into everything. I removed the Norton, but that didn't help. (Norton's disk doctor refused to work as well. Kept getting stuck.) So, obviously something is wrong.

How do I find out what and get it fixed? I just reformatted the hard drive last weekend and started from scratch again. Things seem to work fine, it's just that I spend a lot of time freezing, losing what I was working on up to a point, and restarting. (Yes, I save often, but sometimes I forget and have a lot to redo.)

You will have to turn off your virus scanning softwares and run scandisk from the start menu. You can do this by going to START / RUN and then in the box type scandisk and hit enter. This should run your scandisk. Also, make sure you have disabled all running applications as well as your screensaver. This should make it not restart 10 times (and yes, I’ve gotten that a few times in my last 5 years in the industry).

Now you have ran scandisk successfully, you will want to make sure that Norton has uninstalled itself completely. Check the obvious in going to START / SETTINGS / CONTROL PANEL and then choose the Add/Remove Programs icon. Scroll the list and look for the Norton – if it is there, uninstall it. Now you might get an error stating some files are missing because you tried to remove it before, but you might get lucky. If that is the case, you will want to go to your explorer and look for the Norton folder and delete it. With all of this, you might want to reinstall the AVG.

2003-07-26T14:29:00.000-05:00

What does FTP stand for?

File Transfer Protocol

Want some info on this? You are going to get it anyway – (laughing)

An FTP program helps you transfer files from your local drive to the internet easily – or at least it should be easily. Need an FTP? There is a free trial version of a great software for FTPing that I use at http://www.internet-soft.com called the FTP File Commander. Love it.

It's amazing what one will put on their face/up their nose for a laugh.

2003-07-26T14:00:00.000-05:00

Is there a faster way to copy and paste something without having to do all the clicking?

Absolutely! There are several different ways to copy and paste. First method would be to highlight the text you wish to copy, click EDIT / COPY at the top (or CUT If you want to delete it but put it on your clipboard) and then move your cursor where you want it to appear and click EDIT / PASTE.

OR you can can click the scissors button at the top of your window to cut (the little two pieces of paper next to it is copy) and then click the little clipboard button to paste.

But the easiest of ways is using your keyboard. Highlight the item you want to copy, press Ctrl-C to copy (both buttons at the same time – don’t ask) and to paste you will do the same only with Ctrl-V

One more way, since you are already on your mouse on the text you want to copy, highlight the text and right mouse click (the odd click, ya know, lefties use mice too!). From that menu you will also have the cut/copy/paste options.

Nothing happening here - I'm still awake and still blogging. Might pick up the living room or do some dishes real quick.... until the 2:30 slot.

Any suggestions as to what I can do between blogs? Anyone?

2003-07-26T13:30:00.000-05:00

I have a Microsoft Word Document that I pasted a table into, the table hangs off the side of the page. How can I make this one page print on legal paper and leave the others are regular plain paper?

In Microsoft Word, you can change the layout of one page at a time. You will want to click on the page that you want to become landscape and go to FILE / PAGE SETUP. You will see tabs across the top of the page as well as a white sheet of paper (or a picture of one) and under that picture, a drop down box that says “Whole Document.” Click on that drop down box and select FROM THIS POINT FORWARD. Make your changes as you want that one page to appear as.

Next step, you will need to go to the next page and then do the same thing, only setting it FROM THIS POINT FORWARD with the settings of the first part of your document.

No, I have never had Diet Dr. Pepper before and with my endeavors at working out regularly and weight watchers, I figured I'd give it a try. Here is my before and after the taste.

Ok, must admit, was not impressed. It doesn't taste like the "real" Dr. Pepper, but it's doable. Not as bad as some of the other "unleadeds."

2003-07-26T12:59:00.000-05:00

A long time ago I made a "rescue disk" -- but I don't recall how I did it. I made it on a floppy. Can it be made on a CD, too? I'd like both - or even a Zip. Where do I go to make one?

Yes, you can make them on anything – it’s a boot diskette so in the instance you are not able to boot your computer from the harddrive, you can put the disk in and be able to run the boot from the disk. You can make them using a zip drive – any drive should be able to hold an external disk with the rescue files on them.

Most applications, like MacAfee, have a function to make a rescue disk.

You can make them yourself by copying the autoexec.bat and the config.sys files to a disk – but of course, using an application’s functionality is always easier.

Do a search online for your software followed by rescue disk (ie Norton rescue disk)

I took a shower - aren't you all so happy? not much of an improvement but trust me, I feel better :-)

2003-07-26T12:26:00.000-05:00

I need a USB hub desperately but they cost quite a bit. However, I found one at Big Lots for $15. Is this equal to the bigshot $30 ones at Wal-mart or will it be just as good? Seems like the ones at Wal-mart mention 2.0 something and the ones at Big Lots don't mention any such numbers. Do you think the cheaper one will be just as good?

I see no reason why it would not be just as good as a Walmart brand hub. Most products sold at Big Lots are name brand without the name so it should not be an issue, and you also have to consider, if it doesn’t work, just take it back.

Still no photo site.....

please stand by -

2003-07-26T11:58:00.000-05:00

I use ME and many times my ‘puter refuses to shut down.just hangs there, so I have to turn the power off. Today, that scan thing that comes on at startup kept stalling so I cancelled it (surprised me it would cancel) and it went on in to Windows. Is my scan broken? Why did it stall and how can I fix it?

In addition - so you'll know - the last thing I did today was install Norton SystemWorks -- without the virus scan. I use AVG and read somewhere that they conflict and I prefer AVG. Would this have anything to do with the scan thing not working properly? This is a Systemworks from 2001 and the newest I have -- or will have for a while.

I highly doubt the scandisk functionality has broken. I do not use Norton or AVG so I cannot say if they will affect the way your computer scans – try running the scandisk via the START / RUN in windows. In the box type scandisk.

I have more pics - like my first drink of Diet Dr. Pepper and my reaction (oh yea, you are all on the edge of your seats now, eh? As well as my after shower picture - did it help my 9 am faux pas of a pic? Stay tuned!

2003-07-26T11:26:00.000-05:00

My daughter puts in a CD and leaves it open, puts on, say, a few pix to transfer from one ‘puter to another. Then, when she wants to add something else to it later on, whatever she puts on erases what she already had on it. Is this right? We are NOT talking re-writable CDs here, just regular ole CDs.

Yes, this is right – it is my understanding that only CD-RWs are able to allow you to re-open the burning session and add more files. The regular CDs will erase what was there and start over.

Oatmeal time!

2003-07-26T10:56:00.000-05:00

When I burn a CD, I make sure I have a lot on it, then I close it and it's done. Sometimes it doesn't want to work on the same computer that made it. It gets stuck and the paperclip remedy won't work. I have to actually shut down, then as it shuts down, push the button and it'll come on out. This problem is only with CDs I've made myself. Can I fix this somehow?

I am not sure how this could be fixed nor how the drive would be able to identify your homemade disks from a professionally burned CD (ie a music CD or an application you have purchased).

The idea of it not working on the computer you made it on deals with how you are closing out the disk. Are you making it readable by most or are you just closing it out and leaving it as an open burn session? Your best bet might be to burn the CD, completely close the session and make it so you can read it in most drives.

No picture updates but I haven't eaten, my hair is still a mess and my face still needs washed. LOL

BUT I'M AWAKE!

2003-07-26T10:30:00.000-05:00

The floppy drive and the CD drive do not seem to work on my laptop. Just had a new CD drive put in before the warranty ran out last year, but hadn't been using it. Can't afford to have it looked at, so is there anything I can try to fix it myself? I did buy a jumpdrive to use so I can save things to that, then transfer to a desktop, but it would be nice if the other two did their part!

(again, more help from my friend HF)

OK, this seems to be a Windows ’98 problem. It sounds like the software, not the hardware. They may not have been activated in Bios therefore, not operational. Since you changed the drive, the mother board is going to look for the old one. It cannot find it on the computer and it will not search for a new one. You are going to have to force it to look for the new drive.

Can we say little girls room?

2003-07-26T10:00:00.000-05:00

What's the stupidest tech support call you've ever gotten?

I am not sure I can even pinpoint this one. There are some pretty good ones. I'd say the worst are when you ask them if they rebooted and they swear to God and everybody that they have and when you get down there, you reboot the computer and it's fine. They make out like you are some sort of miracle worker because when they did it, it didn't work.

Or the calls where you turn stuff on.

Or where people are hitting their computer with stuff.

Or where they swear it's out to get them.

Tough call.

Remember, questions to miss_helpdesk@yahoo.com

Well, got the teeth brushed..... now, hmmmm maybe wash my face so I'm not so "shiny"... yeah, probably a good thing, eh?

2003-07-26T09:25:00.000-05:00

I have a Windows 98 computer (HP) and Windows 98 Laptop (Compaq) .. and the one I use most is a Windows ME (HP Pavilion) ... if I am willing to totally reformat, can I reformat the 98's using the ME disks to make the 98's into ME?

You should have no problem in doing this; however, make sure your license agreement specifies that using it on other computers that are your own is ok. If you do run into any problems, make sure you have you 98 disks to back you up or create a backup of each PC before you start the OS upgrade.

Just note the same picture below - still nothing... not even breakfast.

2003-07-26T08:59:00.000-05:00

Why do they hire such incompetent people at the retail computer
stores? I went into a store this weekend looking for a Belkin Bluetooth USB
adaptor and they kept trying to sell me an offbrand one. Funnier that they
couldn't look anything up in their store database to order it for me, either,
because the database was not Boolean-enabled.

Now, this does not speak for all people working at retail computer stores because there are some knowledgeable folks out there – of course, like you, I usually am not lucky enough to find them. Think about it –

college kids majoring in computer science or something of the like=parties and studying

college graduate with focus in computer science field or something close=not working for commission at a retail store peddlin’ the ‘wares

high school students who think they know it all=I have lots of time to go work for retail to work my way to getting a car

Yup – the most qualified individuals will not be donating their time to a retail computer store.

Miss HD is going to be brave - I'm going to post a picture (and yes these are terrible) of me throughout the blog. Note - I generally look better than this.... and I'll post my status of the picture.

Again, questions to miss_helpdesk@yahoo.com

It's a rough start - woke up at 8.05 and should have had first blog already up - got it up quickly. Still haven't brushed my hair or my teeth.

2003-07-26T08:29:00.000-05:00

Can there be too many USB devices attached to your computer using
multiple hubs?

This was answered by Miss HDs friend - HF... thanks man!

It all depends on your memory and your processor; the more devices that you have attached to your PC the more it will make it work. So the answer is yes, you can have as many as possible but basically, if you have three camcorders hooked up and you are trying to download the video from all of them, you are going to notice a slow down so do one at a time. Don’t blow your motherboard – be nice (or get a faster CPU)

*appended to original blogathon answer*
Another friend of mine pointed out that in theory, the max is 127 but you can safely get up to 64 - anything beyond that you are risking motherboard meltdown.

The idea that you can have as many as you want is more so that a normal home computer using individual would not need anywhere need 64.

Remember - get your questions answered by Miss HD in the next 24 hours! Email her at miss_helpdesk@yahoo.com

Let the Bloggin Begin

2003-07-26T08:07:00.000-05:00

errrr husbands! supposed to wake me up!

ok.. first question

If I use a re-writable CD, either open or close (do I close it?), will it work on my other computers? And if not, is there a certain way I can program it to do so?

With most CD-RWs and the software you will be able to close the session but mark the disk as being able to be re-written to in the future. To do this, when in explorer, just right click on the CD disk drive (with the CD in, of course) and select “Make Writable” from the menu option. This should open up the burn session again and allow you to add data to the disk.

2003-07-23T13:54:00.000-05:00

To My Face...
Today, I was helping someone and was told "I need your help on this, I need you to understand the words that will be coming out of my mouth because I don't - I just wrote them down."

hmmmmm - what is wrong with this picture?

Ask Now... pay later? HA HA HA
For some reason in the last week I have become a home PC repairman - I don't know how or who put out the memo, but I have. I have one virus, one "I need to restore back to master but don't have a disk" and one general cleanup. Who put the sign on my back?

What's funny is my family uses me for the same purposes - some are more upfront than others. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't mind helping my family, but my in-laws try to guise it as something else. One time, my step-mother-in-law called and invited us to dinner - steak even. Yummy! What happens - Miss HD gets to the house and is grabbed instanly upon entering the house and led to the back to fix a printer.

I need to find the person that put out that memo...... soon.

Blogathon Update...
I GOT A SPONSOR! One is better than none - but by all means the Assoc. for International Cancer Research would love for me to have more than one sponsor! You can sponsor me by clicking on the link on the right side of the screen. You can sponsor per post or just a one lump sum. I'd appreciate and so would all cancer patients of the world.

Also - Miss HD is looking for material to keep her busy the entire time she is awake this weekend coming up... So, email questions or things you'd like to see posted during the blogathon. I'll answer them to the best of my ability and will do all the research for you :-) Now, these can't be urgent questions and no, you cannot ask if I will come visit your house and fix your computer!

What's the addy you ask: miss_helpdesk@yahoo.com

I'll be looking forward to your questions!

2003-07-16T16:20:00.000-05:00

Alone.... all alone
(spent the day moving, no HD humor today)

Well.. I am in my own office - and yes, it is turning quite the number of heads. Miss HD is not quite sure how to handle all the attention. People walk by and strain their necks out trying to see me at my desk. I'm sure it's a sight to behold, that is why they are doing it, right? Never mind the angry sneer or the rumbly whispers I hear as they walk by in troops to see me.

ahhhh - it's good to be a zoo animal.

2003-07-15T13:35:00.000-05:00

Elbow Room
Well, it appears that Cute Coworker and I will no longer be conjoined at the hip - that's ok but then again, I'm going to miss being in the same room with her.

Oh - why you ask... I got my own office today. It's smaller, but then - that's ok. No threat of having to share with someone in the future - which outways the size of the office all together.

lol

soooooo the next time I blog, I should be doing it in my own office.

2003-07-14T08:38:00.000-05:00

Plug Me In, Scottie
Well, this happened friday. later - almost time to go home.

I was sitting here, in a spreadsheet (big surprise) and got the call. User was having trouble getting around in *** system. She said she could toggle window to window and all was ok. I told her to reboot and I'd be down. I get down there and the screen says keyboard error.

Laughing, I say "did you do any massive thrashing around or kicking?" She said no, it was not unplugged. She checked. I came back to my office, grabbed a keyboard and went back downstairs. I got down there and she was on her knees under the desk with a bright red face.

"Uh, Miss HD, it was unplugged."

Alrighty - why didn't she just tell me she didn't know - save me the trip back upstairs and her the embarrassment of being caught in a fib? People are kooky!

2003-07-11T11:11:00.000-05:00

Frustrations
Miss HD is going to vent for a moment. The hardest part about being IS in a non-IS department is that the actual IS department does not view you as such. I call the "real" help desk and ask for a contact name and they refuse to give it to me. Yeah - because I'm stupid. It's very frustrating. I tried to explain to her that I do work with this person and have the tools to send them tasks and she blathers on about this and that speaking of urgent issues - and I wanted to say, "if this was an urgent issue, I would not be wasting my time talking to you."

alright - rant over. Back to our normal humor.

Third times a charm
User calls me laughing. I ask her what is wrong and she informs me she cannot get into XXXX. She says she did not forget her password, she has it written down, but apparently, when she was changing and confirming her password, she made a typo - TWICE.

2003-07-10T14:30:00.000-05:00

Caller ID
Please note, Miss HD does not have a caller ID on her desk phone. She does not know who you are or where you are located or your extension. Miss HD is not a psychic nor does she profess to be one. Please keep this in mind before you get angry when Miss HD asks for your name, number and location.

Thank you.

2003-07-09T17:45:00.000-05:00

Well - Miss Help Desk was off work today - slept till noon! BUT I can't leave you all hanging in the middle of the week (like I know you are *snickering*)

When the light is green it is on.
Believe it or not, these two things happened in the same day. Must be something in the water.

User calls me and says her computer just won't work. She has rebooted several times and her screen remains black. It won't go.

I walk downstairs, turn the monitor on and believe it or not, it works.

Another user calls me later that day and says her printer isn't working. She has sent several jobs to it and it just won't print. She says she checked to make sure it was plugged in and on, but it wouldn't work.

I go downstairs and look at the printer. She laughs again and says "It's plugged in, I checked." I lean around the printer and flip the switch, the green light flashes and believe it or not, the printed pages begin to pour out. How long was this thing off?

hehehe - amazing - I get paid to turn stuff on.

2003-07-08T11:39:00.000-05:00

MEMO: All Vacations are Cancelled Until Further Notice
OK - maybe this isn't a real memo - but it should be. Today, I heard the ever-so-popular:

I went on vacation and now I can't remember my password

I asked User my famous question "what is your username?" User tells me her network password. I say "that's your network, I need the one for XXXX." User gives me another username. I say "that's your ######### username."

Silence on the other end of the phone.

"User?"

"Yeah, I went on vacation and can't remember my username. Oh, here it is, right in front of me in big red letters. Could you still reset my password?"

NO VACATION FOR YOU! *said in soup nazi (Seinfeld reference)*

But I can't email you...
A friend I used to work with just stopped by. Nice gal.

We spent a little time catching up on kids and family and so forth. She filled out an application to come back to work here. She said she'd email me but wasn't sure how.

I said - give me your email address, I'll send you something.

I can't.

why.

because I don't know my email address.

do you know how to send out an email?

yeah.

here *writes down email address* send me an email and then I'll email you back and tell you your email address.

cool.

Blogathon Theme
Well - going to start off with begging for money LOL if you wish to sponsor me in this year's blogathon, I'd really appreciate it. You can sponsor me by clicking the appropriate link on the right hand side of the screen - you can also read about it here: BLOGATHON.

Next order of blogathon business - I need sponsors. LOL

just kidding - actually, I was going to let you all know that Miss HD is going to share.

The idea of the blogathon is that I have to post something every 30 minutes for 24 hours - this is so you know I'm still awake. I have decided to do the following for that day: continue silly stories BUT as a bonus, tips and tricks for your computer and specified softwares.

This is where you come in - send me an email with your computer questions - I'll answer them during the blogathon on July 26th - sometime during the 24 hours starting 8 am on the 26th.

Obviously, this cannot be urgent computer needs - but questions about things you might want a shortcut for or something you would like to know more about. I know 5 programming languages and over 30 computer softwares from the basics of Notepad and Word to complex report writing softwares like Seagate and Microsoft Access. I am Microsoft Office User Certified (MOUS) and am willing to open up the floodgates to you.

I'm writing stuff up before hand to be more prepared for the "big day," so if you have questions, get your pens ready:

e-mail questions/requests to Miss HD at: miss_helpdesk@yahoo.com

I'm looking forward to them - if I get more than what is needed for the blogathon, I'll just keep answering :-)

2003-07-07T08:38:00.000-05:00

Before Me...
You know it's going to be a bad day when your boss is in 2 hours before he normally steps foot into the building. It's even worse when he is standing on an odd floor downing a Mountain Dew like it was nobody's business.

Holiday Hangover
I really am not in the mood to be here today. I spent the last 4 days with my family - staying up late, laughing and so forth. For some strange reason, I stayed up WAY too late last night and now I'm sitting here with stacks of reports before me and not an ounce of motivation to even begin working on any of them.

One perk - no calls yet. No strange/baffling emails yet. No walk-ins. Can I call them walk-ins? Is that ok?

Walk-in's it is.

The Relative that Never Stops
We all have them - we prefer to hide them from the rest of society. Well, mine isn't quite in the family yet, but I got an announcement from my mother that this October - he will be in the family.

I have seen this man roughly three times - none of them great places to meet up. The first time I met him was at my uncle's funeral. He came up and hugged me - which of course, for those of you who personally know Miss HD - I wanted to rip his head off and spit down his throat. Miss HD likes her personal space. But, it was a funeral, I accepted this mal form of torture and moved away quickly, herding my children away from him before he attacked again.

After the funeral, he approaches me and says "I hear you are the computer genius of the family." As flattering as this is, I always cringe because I know what is coming next: "I have this new computer and I bought an accounting software for it, but I just can't get it to work. Do you have any ideas?"

What I wanted to say: Sure do there man I just met and can't remember your name. Let me pop right over and take a look 'cuz I'm sure the problem has to be somewhere between the seat and the keyboard.

What I really said: Oh, hmmmm - what software is this?

He told me and I tried to be nice enough to say that I wasn't familiar with that package. Before I had my children herded off at a safe distance, he invited me over to take a look. This is where Miss HD's superior social skills go on autopilot (away from her body) - I looked at him and sais "yeah, sure, I'll pop over sometime" and I laughed. Not really a laugh though - more like a cackle. I finished gathering the children and went to another room to find sanction from this loon.

Next time I meet him - in the hospital as my dad was sick. This time I was trapped - ICU waiting rooms are small. He mentioned it again (mind you this is about two months later). I tried my best to get away with some loopy answer about maybe when dad gets home.

The last time I saw him - my dad's funeral and gathering afterwards. Yes - he mentioned it. I think he might have caught on to my superior social skills and what I was trying to get across... but one can never be too sure.

Now - in less than four months - this schmuck is going to be in my family. I am scared to go to the ceremony for fear that his vows will read: "I love you so much, dear, and want to be part of you forever. And by the way, Miss HD, can you stop over during our honeymoon and check out the PC and that accounting software - we won't be on the computer, it's all yours."

On a more serious note...
I won't get serious often, but now is one of those times.

Please visit the link on the right for the BLOGATHON. I have entered myself and HDH in to raise some money for the Association of International Cancer Research.

Here's the rundown - At 8 am my time on July 26th, I must begin blogging, posting something every 30 minutes. I do this for 24 hours straight. The money sponsored to me, provided I do it - will be given to the charity. It is after the fact that you would be contacted about making your full donation.

I'll be tired. I'll be sore (ok, my fingers will be) ... but I'm going to do it. I'd like to have some sponsors behind me to get some money into this great charity.

My dad died on May 30th of this year. He had both lung and brain cancer. He fought hard and is now at home with our Lord.

Please help me help this charity - writing skills don't get you far unless you are lucky - but this is an opportunity for me to do something with it on a charity level.

Thanks for reading :-)

and now back to our normal silly selves...

2003-07-04T00:24:00.000-05:00

The Holiday
Miss HD was offered the holiday off as well as half the day off Thursday. Well - Miss HD wants to apologize for not bloggin' today or Friday - but she got the hell out of dodge before they changed their minds.

I'll leave you with a funny password story (or two) that happened later last year:

Color Me Silly
Miss HD was working hard, as usual, when she got a call (uh oh, here comes the bad part). User could not get into the XXXX system. You'll find that as time goes on, XXXX system will be a reoccurring issue. User wanted me to reset her password.

I simply went into the system as administrator and did that magic that I do. I called her back and told her to go ahead and log in with her generic password "blue" and then change the password to something else. She was good to go and hung up. About 2 minutes later, I got a call back from her. She still could not get in. It would not let her change her password.

I go down to User's desk and sit, trying to figure out why this system would not let her change her password. I sit and I think and I think and I think. What could the problem be?

She stood next to me and said "I don't know what to do - I've ran out of colors."

I looked at User and asked her to repeat herself, and she did. Miss HD found herself sitting in disbelief as User thought that since the default password was "blue" this had to mean that all other passwords that you choose must be a color as well.

Looks like someone needs a box of 256 crayons for Christmas.

My Name is What? My Name is What? No, really, I can't remember.
Miss HD - working goddess that I am... I was working along, probably on a spreadsheet as that is what am generally doing in the afteroon, when the phone rings. I answer.

User states that she cannot get into her computer - the network won't let her (I love personification of computers. It's great). I go down to her desk and found that she had forgotten her password. I made the call to the "real" help desk and got her password reset to the word "password." Thinking I had this issue wrapped up, I had User sit down and log in. User could not log in. For some strange reasons, the letters that make up the word password just would not do so for her. She locked it 2 times this way.

Finally, I was a bit frustrated - I admit - I was very frustrated. I called the "real" help desk again and in order to make this as easy and as least chance of causing me to go postal, I asked the help desk to change the password to her last name - and make it a set password, so she would not have to change it once she got logged in.

She got locked out again.

2003-07-02T09:58:00.000-05:00

Blame it on the little guy...
I just got an email from User saying there is a MALFUNCTION (that was the subject line of the email). User said that she tried transferring an account to a specific location and it did not go - it must not be working. When I reviewed my listings of areas you can transfer to - the area she was transferring to: it doesn't exist.

darn malfunctions.

mastering the art of being proactive
For some people, this was a must and mastered the skill years ago in a far away land. For some - they are ok with it, they know it exists "go with the flow" of it all. For others - well, it's a lost cause.

Issue: Returned Mail - 'nuff said.
Proactive User: Devise a procedure for handling the mail, ask for temporary assistance from people around you and get caught up - apply new procedure to stay current.
What Really Happened: User doesn't tell anyone. When approached, shrugs shoulders "I didn't know I was supposed to do that."

Issue: Everyday, you get a message on your screen that says you have 5 more successful login's before you will be forced to change your password. (number goes down one everytime you have to log in)
ProActive User: Change it.
What Really Happened: User just clicked through the error and wonders, why on the day they are now mandated to change their password, why do they have to change it. They didn't know they had to change it. And now they are not connected to the network because they clicked cancel after a couple mal attempts at accessing the system.

Issue: New employee will be coming in 1 week and needs access to all systems.
ProActive User: Send an email to those responsible for obtaining access names and rights to systems (Miss HD and Cute Coworker included).
What Really Happened: "Miss HD, I need access to XXXX today." "But, User, it takes 2 weeks to get access to this system." "Well, Miss HD, I need it today."

Issue: Other department faxing requests for deletes to the system (their reports) on a daily basis - several sheets a day. Secretary's office where fax machine is located is locked up because she is out of the office this week.
ProActive User: Send an email to everyone that faxes you requests and give them a different fax number within the department OR contact security daily during secretaries vacation to have them open office.
What Really Happened: After four days, Miss HD and Cute Coworker receive an email from a disgruntled department head asking why their requests weren't being filled. When inquiring the person that handles those: "Oh."

Rubbing It In...
I sent a joke email out to some folks. I got this back from someone:

I will be out of the office (on a cruise in the Carribean) until July 5th, 2003. I will be returning to work July 7th, 2003. Please forward any inquiries to ******** ******.

... no comment ...

Pity for Cute Coworker
Again, my day is seemingly strange as I have not had any really wacky stuff going on. I think this blog has wished calm days and peaceful emails for me. That's ok - I'm sure it will wear off soon.

I actually feel pity for Cute Coworker today (yes, the same woman who hit me with my smiley face stress ball). See, we each have specific systems we are considered primary support on. Heck, even IS identifies us as the primary support. For the last 2 weeks one of her systems has been haywire. She's been running around rebooting the server multiple times a day and trying to figure out what needs to be done. Quotes have been made, but there will be an upgrade in the future so they are all "should we go this route - will this be affected with the upgrade?"

Of course, no one has any idea IF and WHEN this upgrade will occur. I bet she quits right before the upgrade... I would.

So - she is gone again, off an a server adventure. I am sitting ever-so-comfortably in my big cushy desk chair typing away at my blog and doing some month end reporting from one of the systems. She is running around, hair laying in frizzed-out clumps around her face, panting from running up and down the stairs to the server (it's downstairs in another building). Not so cute, now, eh? *evil grin*

Actually - she's doing really well. I almost feel the need to do something nice for her.

almost.

2003-07-01T10:48:00.000-05:00

True Phone Conversation...
User: Have you fixed our XYZ problem yet?"
Miss HD: What problem?
User: *explains XYZ to me*
Miss HD: Oh. I didn't know you were having this problem. Who did you contact? Manager? Cute Coworker?
User: *rolling eyes* I didn't call anyone. I just thought you'd know.

ooooooooooooooooooo kay?
Note to self: Start meditating to pick up any negative vibes from system errors and fix prior to notification.

The above applies - Manager has a little saying - about the PNC not working. Well, the PNC is our Psychic Network Connection. It's referred to very happily here all the time. Shame my PNC is in the shop all the darn time. Oh well - have to use good ole fashion email or form requests until I get it up and running.

Today...
Wow. It's almost 10:30 in the morning and not one support call. Go figure this would happen on the day after I launch this awesome humor blog (pat pat pat on back). Well, Since I have nothing at this point, I figured I would just do a bit on the goddess within (or super god man, depending on whose reading).

Recently I was appointed the title goddess by a person on the fourth floor. In one day, upon my inquiry, Cute Coworker installed a new PC for User, I got a spreadsheet up and running as well as doing a mini training with her and then I turned around and pitched her name in for a job in another department that pays more and has a higher stature within the company - which in turn got back to her and wow - now I'm a goddess. If you couldn't guess, User happens to be the same person in my 6/30 blog that used the wrong username. I do not think I could anger this person at this point in the game. I really think she loves me.

Referring to the email in the 6/30 blog, it's kind of funny. The reason I ask for a username is of my own error in the past but she thinks I was "gently reminding her" to use the correct username.

What error could Miss HD possibly make, you ask? OK - maybe you didn't - but I'm going to tell you anyway. Of course now you are laughing so hard, take a moment for yourself - really. Finish up the laughter - alright, ready now?

I was working late one night... ok, maybe more near the afternoon and I wasn't quite working, just messing around with a spreadsheet. But late one night sounds better - anyway - I get a call for system XXXX to reset a password as User cannot remember. I go in, sidetracked by my spreadsheet, and reset the password. User is happy and I'm back on spreadsheet duty. Not 10 minutes later I get a call from someone else. Apparently this User cannot get into the same system. You see where this is going?

User 1 gave me the wrong username and I reset it, but turns out it was really User 2. Yeah - a slight faux pas. So, I got them all squared away and vowed from that day forward, I would always validate their username. I have a spreadsheet I can check against and make sure they are telling me the right username.

So, what is funny here is when Cute Coworker came here to work - she kinda did the same thing. I was not in that , morning. She was manning the battle station on her own. I walked in the door and she said "man, I'm getting a lot of calls to reset XXXX passwords."

Now, the beginning of the month is very believable because the system automatically makes you change your password at the first visit after the first of the month - every month. But when I looked up at the calendar it was in the middle of the month.

Turns out, I assigned about 15 usernames to a department - they all had them but they all thought the one in the login screen was theirs - which it wasn't. It was the last successful login, which could have been someone else. So, they'd type in their password and would get a username/password does not match error. They'd call and have it reset. Cute Coworker would reset it. So when the actual person who had username x came in, the password was different, so they'd call in and have it reset. Very funny when you think about it.

Ya know what I haven't figured out though? Why, when someone sits down at a computer and gets ready to log in, do they think a computer has optical recognition capabilities? Just because you are sitting there does not make it your username.... the computer does not know you are you and it cannot put your username in there just because you are sitting there.

What exactly does any of this have to do with being a goddess?.... well. Nothing really.

on behalf of...
I truly believe even the most intelligent of people can have the worst of days. My manager is a pretty slick guy. Manager knows his stuff inside and out. But yesterday - he made a slight *synaptical connection error.*

Manager is asking Cute Coworker (or someone else, I can't remember) what time User goes home for the day. She says 1:30. Manager asks "Well, where is she now?" The other person says "She goes home at 1:30. It's 2." I guess he kind of looked at her and asked again "So, where is she?" After a quick moment and a snap of lucidity, he realized, she had already gone home for the day.

*whoooooooosh* That was the time flying by.

Completely Unrelated
I have two very unrelated to IS statements for you all. First a question:

Why is it a to-go salt packet (those little two tube paper things with the perforated end that always bends instead of tears) are jammed with salt so when you get them open it spills all over, but the pepper to-go packets, barely have 10 grains of pepper? Hmmmmm I'm thinking federal grant money for this one.

Second - a woman in my department has it all figured out. She comes to work at 5 am so she clocks out at 1:30. She takes her second break at 1. at 1:15 she returns to her desk to close down her PC and pile up her paper and leave. Why didn't I think of that first?

Well, the day is almost over. It's 3:13pm. I go home in an hour and nothing overly funny has happened today. Not overly bad but still - it would be nice. Heck - at noon, Cute Coworker and I were left to be the only 2 employees on the 5th floor. Well - maybe tomorrow? Or in the next hour?

I hope not.

A Warm Welcome from Miss Help Desk

2003-06-30T10:28:00.000-05:00

the introduction...
I suppose this is as good a time as any to introduce the blog - introduce myself and what I do.

So - the blog is a humorous look at Help Desk work. Maybe the non-techies can see what it's like to wear our shoes - and of course, they'll laugh.

I'm not help desk personel. I could never be that good - I'm an application analyst with a sense of humor and a passion for writing. I enjoy my work but for some reason, (oh yeah, they are told to), the employees in my department choose to call me, email me or stop me in the hall with both work and home related issues.

See - I don't work in the IS department (that's information systems for all you general readers). I do IS functionality in a department that is not IS - we (meaning the whole 3 of us) are expected to take front end calls and do what we can without the tools needed. All the tools are in IS.

So, now you have me and a couple others that are IS minded in a department that's..... well... not. We get some pretty strange calls and some odd requests and we try to take them all in stride without laughing so hard we pee our pants. It's not as easy as it sounds.

I am not using names in this blog. It's not nice to make fun of those that are less fortunate in their knowledge of PCs (that's personal computer - ahhh love the lingo, baby, love the lingo). I am not using my name for fear of being found out and being hit with stuff on the way out to my car. I don't want to cause mental blocks nor do I want to be responsible for the weeping coming from the floors beneath me (not a mean statement, I really am located above everyone else).

What will I have to offer? One - daily humor. I can type this stuff at work as it's happening (oh lucky you!). Two - I will offer sections called "on behalf of my coworker" who works in the same office as me and pretty much receives the same fun calls that I do and enjoys them just as much. We will also have a section for "in the past" so you will know what is going on today and what actually happened a year or so ago (these are great) and a section that reveals our own silly stumbles in the IS world. Three - what better do you have than to laugh at someone else's plight? yeah... I thought so....

So.... that' what this is all about.

If you want to read my inspiration - check out Miss Cashier (linked on the right). She's my hero :-)

biography of names...
I don't want to use names - ya know, protect the innocent and all, but honestly - you have to refer to them as something.

User - the name User will refer to the person who is asking us for advice and so forth. User will not refer to the same person in every story. It can't - there are just too many folk and I can't make up a name for everyone.

Cute Coworker - I share an office with a woman who is 2 years my younger. She's absolutely adorable. She is one of those people that has a bubbly personality and people like to be around her. I suppose she is not yet jaded by life. She is knowledgable and smart. She's also very pretty and has quite a vivid social life. I live vicariously through her.

Manager - well, that's my manager. Easy call, eh?

Manager 2 - my manager is only over 3 people. There are about 60 people in the department I work for. Manager 2 is over about half these people. She is a "oh woe as me" kind of lady. She's mean and doesn't quite care whose toes she crunches with her 3 inch spike heels. She is also very cunning. I must admit - she's good at what she does but whew, I just wish she could be nicer doing it. She's over 40 but looks and dresses like she's a professional 28 year old. If you got it flaunt it (I don't flaunt).

Manager 3 - the other manager, well - she's kind of special. She sometimes has moments where she makes sense. She is nice and bubbly, which is quite the 180 from Manager 2. She is in her 50s I think, but I don't know. She is nice but I wish she would be more upfront with her work and document better. But oh well, at least I don't have two manager number 2s, right. I wanted to also note that Manager 2 and Manager 3 are not my managers, they just work in the same department managing other folks.

Gypsy Coworker - Gypsy coworker is really an interesting person. Most of the time she is nice, but she doesn't like us. I don't know. She's in her 50s and is pretty cranky all the time. She is very "out there" and wears a lot of jewelry (she even calls herself a gypsy, it's not a mean term!). She's funny in some of her comments but sometimes, she can speak out of term to people. She can really hurt their feelings and not mean to. She's done it to me and she's done it to Cute Coworker.

my day - today...
Alright.. this is a true email thread. Enjoy.

User: Can you please reset my password on XXXX? I cannot
launch the application and use XXXX. I have tried it more than once so chances are I have completely messed it up.
Miss HD: what is your username?
User: oops!!!! that may be the problem!!!!! hee hee!! sorry!!! my true blondeness just showed through. Hold on and let me try to launch XXXX with the correct user name!!!!
User Emails Miss HD again: That is why you are the goddess that you are!! Thank you for gently reminding me to use the correct user name!!!! OMG, can be any more dumber??? lol.
Thank You!!!!

Don't worry folks - we all have our moments!

on behalf of...
Cute Coworker: Well, you know we share an office. I am over here working on a spreadsheet for a vendor and she is getting calls out the ying yang for support. She is on the phone and I hear her say the following. This is a one sided conversation, and yes, it is as bad as it sounds.

Hmmmmm well, what are you putting in
OK - and then what?
Well - you have to.
Yes. It's required.
Yup, just hit TAB.
Not a Problem. Bye.

So, wondering what they are talking about? Any guesses? Cute Coworker was talking to User about a login screen. User was just putting in their username. When inquired upon, User told Cute Coworker that they were not putting in their password, but the system would not let them in.

Why would it ask you for a password and you think you don't have to type it in? Is it just me or is this some form of new-age backward thinking?

What's even worse - User has been using the system for a while now. They have always had to put their password in. Why would it change today?

anyone?

anyone?

Beuller? Bueller?

in the past...
User calls me and tells me that her mouse is not working. The screen has froze up on her. I go down the hall and she is sitting there, her mouse is frozen. I asked her what happened. She said "I was trying to do something in **** and it wasn't doing what I wanted it to do. Then it froze up."

I rebooted as any good HD personel should do. As the machine was rebooting, I saw a message flash that no mouse was detected.

Odd I think. I get down and crawl under her desk (not a pretty view from the back, I must add) and there is the problem. Her mouse is unplugged. I plug it back in but the problem is - it's a loose fit. The mouse port is barely hanging into the back of the PC.

I get up from under the desk and User is just sitting there. I ask her what happened right before her computer froze up. She looks at me oddly and says (yes, this is it):

I wanted it to click over here, but it wouldn't move so I did this. This is where you insert her banging the mouse on the desk and yanking it over her shoulder like she was trying to stop a friggin MULE - think Yosemite Sam and WHOA MULE WHOA - WHEN I SAY WHOA, I MEAN WHOA *WHACK with his rifle*

Yeah - she wonders. I ended up pushing the mouse in as best I could and then taping the cord to the back of her desk so if she did continue her career as a PC abuser, it would take a lot to unplug that mouse.

our own issues...
Well - today Cute Coworker is the recipient of this one. Of course, the day is not over yet. Cute Coworker and myself were talking to another gentleman that works here - different department. He was out wandering and found his way to our office. What can I say, we are fun. Anyway, Cute Coworker's email keeps going off but no message is appearing. It's the emails coming to us via a forwarding rule. She searches around and finds nothing wrong. The rules is working on the original PC, the rule is apparently working on her PC as it's no longer in her inbox. She said the alert noise has been going off but the email is not there.

Well - turns out they were going to the trash LOL Yup - she had deleted her folder and it was sitting in the deleted items folder gathering up all the new emails. hehehe It's fixed now.

This just in - not 2 hours after discoving Cute Coworkers faux pas - I did the same thing!

not a good day... just not a good day...